Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Uncertain Future

Tonight it is late. I should be in bed. I am sleepy but the house is so quiet and peaceful I just want to enjoy this moment.
Like my photo I feel like I am living in a fog with no way of seeing what is up ahead. At times it is exciting to think of starting over and beginning again but the unknown sometimes seems just to hard to bear. I know God has a plan and I have peace most days. Actually almost all days but for some reason tonight I just wish I could have a small glimpse of hope. I small taste of what He has waiting for us. I so desperately want to do something new, I am tired of what I have been doing and I just want to follow my heart...

but,
it is scary.

How will we pay the bills?
What about my daughters last year of high school?
How will our family feel if we up and move away?
Why should I be allowed to just take time off to try art?
What about being responsible?
Doing what will make everyone happy?

What about me?

I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. Doing what is expected. I'm tired of having so much responsibility. Is this bad? Sometimes I just want to run away.
For tonight I guess I'll just go to sleep and think about it tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another day!

3 comments:

  1. G'day, sweetie ~ Trust & He shall lead ... all will be fine.

    Please check your settings to follow me on new blog,
    blushingrosetoo.blogspot.com

    Have a wonderful week.
    TTFN ~ Marydon

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  2. I received your sweet comment and I want you to know that I keep up with you,too...just not good about commenting.

    I will keep your family in my prayers. I am hoping there is some change in your future...something you didn't even know you wanted!

    I have always felt it would be a shame to live on God's green earth just one time and never move around.

    I love your beautiful photography. I suspect you see things through the lens even better on days you are troubled.

    It's hard being an adult...isn't it?

    xoxo, Julia

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  3. It sounds like we have the same struggles...
    I hope I can one day pursue my dreams...
    I have a job that I hate...
    I have always been the responsible one...
    thank you for sharing
    lovely blog
    ~Tara

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