Uncertain Future

Tonight it is late. I should be in bed. I am sleepy but the house is so quiet and peaceful I just want to enjoy this moment.
Like my photo I feel like I am living in a fog with no way of seeing what is up ahead. At times it is exciting to think of starting over and beginning again but the unknown sometimes seems just to hard to bear. I know God has a plan and I have peace most days. Actually almost all days but for some reason tonight I just wish I could have a small glimpse of hope. I small taste of what He has waiting for us. I so desperately want to do something new, I am tired of what I have been doing and I just want to follow my heart...

but,
it is scary.

How will we pay the bills?
What about my daughters last year of high school?
How will our family feel if we up and move away?
Why should I be allowed to just take time off to try art?
What about being responsible?
Doing what will make everyone happy?

What about me?

I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. Doing what is expected. I'm tired of having so much responsibility. Is this bad? Sometimes I just want to run away.
For tonight I guess I'll just go to sleep and think about it tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another day!

Things That Go Bump In The Night

On my walk today, Cooper decided to go into the woods. Since all the foliage is gone, I can see to follow the deer paths through the inner part of the woods and follow him. I get to see areas I normally can't see in the summer.

The weather has been a bit gloomy lately and today was drizzly and dark.

The twisted grapevines and gnarly bushes made for an eerie site.

I was beginning to feel how eerie the woods seemed when a hawk cried out as it flew out of a tree above me. Warning the animals of my arrival.

But

as he continued to circle I wondered if he was warning me of something

lurking in there.

As I wound myself around the path to get out into the meadow

I heard a strange sound.

not quite an animal sound

not quite human either.

Then I heard it again

a

screeching

sound

still not sure what it was.

I

stopped,

looked

up,

the bare trees were swaying against the dark foreboding clouds

and they were moaning with the wind.

There really wasn't anything scary there. It was all in my imagination. It was just nature making winter sounds. I am thankful for my imagination, it made my normal walk a little bit more interesting today.

My word for 2010!

After visiting some of the blogs I like to follow, I wanted to do a blog entry about my word for 2010.

I really wanted it to be a positive word.

A good word.

I wanted it to be one to encourage you as well as me.

I really wanted it to be Peace. Then I thought about it some more and what is happening in our lives and I came up with Perseverance.

This wasn't real up lifting but a more positive take on the difficulties we have been encountering lately and it described how we have been living.

But...

on a walk with Cooper the other day as I was praying I just kept thinking, wait, wait, wait.

Why are we always having to be in a state of waiting? I thought I had learned this one already! I actually thought I had mastered the art of waiting pretty patiently. I left that with God and decided I didn't want wait or waiting to be my word.

I'd just have to give it more thought.

Tonight my pastor made a statement that was very inspiring for me and I saw how I was looking at things in a negative light. [again :( ].

Instead of waiting I am now Anticipating what God has in store for our family

and

Expecting His promise to not forsake us and to deliver us from our affliction to be fufilled.

so

I am now Anticipating!

I can't wait to see what He does!

Baby It's Cold Outside

I woke up this morning to see this scene across the street. We had a frozen fog all around! It was beautiful.

It is 3 degrees right now. I grabbed my point and shoot and went outside for a few quick shots. Even the snow did not stick to my socks! Woops, you caught me. Yeah, I sleep in socks.

I couldn't get very good shots so I put on some boots and a sweatshirt and ran out for these. Not great with this camera but I think you can see how beautiful the frozen fog looks on all the plants

Even the birds are enjoying the pretty snow and fog.

Really?

I think, maybe not.

They are probably contemplating flying south a bit further.

I will be putting food out later today for them.

I just love how fuzzy everything looks! Have a great day! Stay warm if you are in the US. It seems to be cold everywhere here.

SNOW!

Yesterday afternoon it started to snow.




My daughter and her girl friends did a no-pants snow dance the night before

(Don't ask, I didn't.) But it worked!




We got over 4 inches and it was soft and powdery. Everything looks so magical.





It was to cold and windy to walk during the storm but this morning I couldn't wait to get out with Cooper and take some photos.







It was still lightly snowing and it was so peaceful. As Cooper ran and sniffed out all the small animals I looked around to see what I could photograph to share with you.



I was a bit nervous to get so close to this groundhogs hole but alas, no one was home. Or at least not ready to come out while I was there.
I spied this cozy nest up in the tree. I don't suppose the previous occupants are actually still here but it did look nice and warm all covered up like that.


And then I came upon this exit from one of the large trees on the golf course. Nature was nice to leave the opening clear so the squirrels could get out later if they felt so inclined.



I took a few more photos of interesting things I hope you will enjoy.

These little snow covered weeds reminded me of Marie Antoinette's hairdo. What do you think?

While my oldest daughter was here for the holidays we made some ice wreaths I saw at http://resurrectionfern.typepad.com/. She has such great ideas! I made matching candles to put on my front porch bristo table.

These were so much fun to make! We never have tempretures low enough for these last but I think they will last for several more weeks this year!

Who says winter is dull and ugly? Just take a walk and look around, there is beauty and wonder all around.

Have a great weekend!

My top 10

I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs last night and saw a few were listing their top 10 reads of 2009 so I decided to list mine. I am always looking for a good recommendation. I had a bit of a crazy year and did not get to read to many books on my own so most of these were from my book club but I did enjoy them. I have them listed 1-10 top right to left.

#1 Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Society ~ Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

Loved this book. Very sweet and opened me up to what it was like during the war.

#2 No! I Don't Want to Join a Book Club Diary of a 60th year ~ Virginia Ironside

This was a funny and insightful read especially if you are over 45.

#3 The Help ~ Kathryn Stockett

Just finished for book club. We loved it!

#4 American Bloomsbury ~ Susan Cheever

Picked this up at my local used book store and really enjoyed it. I am planning on catching up on some classics I have not made time for in the past!

Because of this book my daughters are checking out these authors also.

#5 People of the Book ~ Geraldine Brooks

I did a lot of research while reading this book. Made me want to learn more.

#6 Plainsong ~ Kent Haruf

Book club pick. We enjoyed the characters and story in this book.

#7 Mudbound ~ Hillary Jordan

Book club pick. Good story lines, again one to make you think about life.

#8 Without a Map ~ Meredith Hall

Book club pick. Sad story. Makes me a more loving Mom and person.

#9 Viel of Roses ~ Laura Fitzgerald

Book club pick. Cute story, makes you want to keep reading.

#10 Edgar Sawtelle ~ David Wroblewski

Hated the end so hated the book at first. Made up my own ending :) and now I keep remembering snippets and have fond memories of this story.

I have lots of books on my shelf that I have picked up at sales and need to read so my goal is to focus on these this year. I may pass on the club pick if I don't think I'll like it but that is often the case and then I find a gem that would never have read. This is why I love book club. It forces me out of my comfort zone. I would never have read The Road, Ahabs Wife, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan and more.

On my list to read now are:

Loving Frank, next months pick

Her Fearful Symmetry, reading now and loving it.

Traveling with Pomegranates

Half Broke Horses

The Elegance of the Hedgehog

Walden

The Scarlet Letter

The Used World

Fierce

Boone

Change Me Into Zeuss Saughter

And I have been reading and will finish And The Ladies of The Club. written by a local lady about our town! Old book but I'm enjoying it.

So heres to a new year and adventures in books! Take a break from TV and start a book if you aren't reading now!