Here We Go Again

thomas-moran-oil-painting-on-canvas-the-angry-sea

I feel like this ship tossed on the angry sea.

Tomorrow my husband is going in for a heart cath to put stints in to relieve more blockage. He has been having trouble for months but we didn't have insurance so we were waiting until I could get a job with benefits. That hasn't happened and so we could not wait any longer. We go to meet with the surgeon today.
I am still looking for a job. We went to a trucking job fair Friday and are seriously considering driving a small sprint truck. We might as well see the country. Our girls are at college and we don't have a house so we could do this to get back on our feet.
(As long as my husband gets better.)
The lady we are living with is getting tired of us I think, so I am really feeling the pressure to find a new place. ( but I don't know where)

I know with all my heart God is in control
That these trials make us stronger
Most days I am at peace, trusting in Him and waiting. Knowing He has a plan.
The pastor yesterday had a great story about letting Jesus steer my bike.
It was a great illistration. I felt better.
But
Today I do not.
I'm scared
Getting scared gets me in trouble.
So it's back to FAITH and TRUST.
He has not let us down yet and we really are not in need of anything important.
He has truly blessed us so why do I get scared?
I'll be fine but I'm just really feeling that I don't have the strength He thinks I have.
If you are so inclined I'd appreciate your prayer support.
Thanks